DAY 5 of NO SUGAH (3/28/15)

Posted by on Mar 30, 2015 in 30 DAYS NO SUGAH, Blog | No Comments

i did not get any meat in the airport. things were pretty much shut down during my layover in seattle, other than an open bagel shop. nope! i went to Hudson’s news and looked for some appropriate snacks. there was a shit-ton of chocolate this-and-that, and it was packaged in a sundry ways….almond roca, milk-choclate cashews, pink chocolate-covered cherries, dark chocolate blueberries that are good at oxidizing you….really? i picked up the package, and 1 serving out of 7 in the whole bag had 23 grams of sugar. jesus! i put it down.

i got some “rogue blue cheese popcorn,” which was satisfying–not so much satisfying, as in, it really delivered, but more like, a) i had seen it at newport market, and wanted to try it out, and b) it felt really fun to have a snacky-snack for dinner! and c) it was actually pretty great, although i don’t see myself getting it again–the cheese coating wasn’t thick enough to merit the calories. anyhow, it went well with the $4.99 chocolate protein bar that had 32 grams of protein and 1 g of sugar.  that filled me up.

good for me—throughout the twists and turns the rest of the night, i didn’t buckle, and buy M & M’s from vending machines or have a bunch of hot chocolate packets from the lobby of the hotel where i finally ended up.

where i finally ended up? what were the twists? the turns? you say?

well, i got into phoenix at midnight. as planned. the next two days i would be attending a continuing medical education class.

however, when i arrived at the hilton, i had no room. i had been booked for the next two nights, but not that night. not my mistake. i won’t try to explain.

i felt homeless for five seconds, and pictured myself sleeping on a couch in their lovely lobby, near the water fall and under the wide open space of the looming, empty atrium. only, i knew they would never have me.

i asked the man at the counter if he had any suggestions. he did. he began calling hotels, to see if they had space. i guess it was kind of like i was mary, but i had no jesus or joseph; just a tired-ass body and brain that were eager to go to bed, before the night slipped away, and the morning appeared with it’s hard edge, saying, “anita, are you ready to focus all day in a classroom with fluorescent lights and way too much air-conditioning and an annoying professor who will take you through power point slides way too slowly, and tell lots of his own wandering stories that have nothing to do with anything?” that was the story i was growing.

as he made the calls, i vacillated between wanting to cry and yell. i didn’t know what to do with my anger–it felt so much! having just come back from a nine-day byron katie school in Ojai (, i thought of what katie might do. she’d probably “notice” her anger, and feel it. but not wallow. she’d say, “aside from what i am thinking and feeling right now, am i okay?” the answer would be yes. she’d treat it like it was an adventure!

i tried this. it worked better than my own instincts to catastrophize would. i had to keep trying. my adventure was called, “where will i end up tonight? who will take me? when will i get there?”

i finally landed at a hotel via an australian taxi driver at 1:30 AM, and found myself switching rooms at 1:45 AM, due to boisterous noise from a bar right outside my hotel room window. this was no hilton. it was “hometown suites,” in the suburbs of phoenix, far away from the conference i’d be attending the next day. i comforted myself with the fact that at least i had met my goal of not eating sugar, and hopefully the complimentary breakfast the next morning would make up for it. with greasy sausage patties.

it did!!!

and i made it to class on time today, and the whole thing was better than i envisioned it. the teacher didn’t gab too much, and i learned a bunch of good stuff, and i was able to order a turkey/bacon/cheese lettuce wrap from jimmy john’s at lunch time, which really hit the spot.

by 5 pm, when the class was still going, those chocolate chip granola bars that i spotted on the table, when i came in that morning, really started having conversations with me. “hi anita. we’re just sitting right here. bet you’ve never tried one of us before. betcher curious. too bad you’re on that no-sugar thing, ‘cuz boy we could really give you some good energy right now, along with a sweet taste. don’t you even want to come over and check out our ingredients? to torment yourself? there’s an impossible chance sugar might be fifth or higher, in our CHOCOLATE CHIP granola bar make-up.”

i got up and looked.

cane sugar was FIRST, even before rolled oats.

cane sugar is so much better for you than plain sugar. eye roll.

i made it out unscathed, and proceeded to find my real hotel room for the next two nights. once settled in, i wandered out again, to explore the drab, cement lay-out of phoenix. the sun was lovely, amidst asphalt and out-of-place palms. an occasional cactus brought me joy.

i found a “honey-barbaque ribs” joint. it was a no-brainer. everything on the menu looked good (especially the mac n cheese), but i settled for a kid’s meal of ribs and sweet potato fries. i had an intuition there’d be plenty. oh, yeah! those fries were all falling out of the bag, and i was in hog heaven. looking back, i realize sugar was probably second or third in that sauce. –an innocent oversight? or, a more intentional subconscious cheating thing?

glad to apologize after the fact. 🙂

i forgive myself.

this, also, a no-brainer

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