DAY 30 whoo-wha!

Posted by on Apr 22, 2015 in 30 DAYS NO SUGAH, Blog | 6 Comments

you know, i didn’t do a perfect job. i did not do a perfect job. but i tried. and i learned some stuff, in my 30 days of no sugar.

one is, i am happier without sugar.

two is, i learned that when i put down the sugar, i am more apt to pick up the chips and cheese (aka NACHOS made in the comfort of my home with the microwave!!!) and popcorn and other crunchy/salty/fatty shit, and over-do it. oh well. i notice this, and then, i have a chance to say, “anita, what are you doing? what is your goal? who are you being?”

and it’s all grace. it’s grace. on the night of over-eating chips and cheese, do i feel graceful? gracious?

hell no. but i wake up the next morning, and there is me– even with bloated tummy and bad head–there is a new me, and i get a chance to start over; to do a do-over.

i get a chance to be amazed at how entrenched the tendency is in me to use food as a comfort. to look at it–really look at where it comes from. and see my (other) options.

i do have other options.

i am not alone in the stuck-ed-ness, and i am not alone in the solution.

one of the books i’ve been reading is “life without ED,” by Jenni Schaefer. http://www.jennischaefer.com ED refers to “eating disorder.” the author does a very good job of distinguishing her real self from the imposter ED. she goes into how ED can be a convincing, conniving brat, and how she has a chance to say, “no thank you,” to ED. some of her tools are:

1) refusing to compare herself against others.

2) avoiding the scale– focusing on her body and mind without that measurement.

3) calling support friends. when she’s tempted to blitz out on food, she calls or texts a friend. she has these people identified as resources ahead of time.

there is beauty in being on the road to recovery with other people.

i thank you for being a part of this journey with me. “perhaps i have disclosed too much,” i think to myself. “i’m a doctor who is offering her services to help other people. have i gone too far in admitting how much i (still) struggle myself?”

i think not. in the end, we die. we might as well help each other out, while we live. and i get the most help from people who have “been there, done that,” and i get the most help in befriending and accompanying these people on their journeys and on mine.

we are all in this together.

also, we are all alone in this together.

it’s like kyle said to me the other night: “babe, i know you struggle sometimes, and i want you to know that i’m always here for you, whenever you need me. at the same time, i know that sometimes a person just has to fight certain battles alone.”

sha bam bam.

6 Comments

  1. Kyle
    April 24, 2015

    Thanks for being such a good example and leading us on this journey. I felt much better overall without the sugar but also agree that I probably compensated with too much other salty/fatty stuff. Oh well, just something else to work on right? 🙂 It was a good experience that I’m glad to have accomished. It opened my eyes to being more mindful about thoughtlessly grabbing snacks and junk. Thanks for the inspiration. -k.

    Reply
    • dranita
      April 24, 2015

      kyle, yer the best. thank you! and you look hot.

      Reply
  2. Denise Rucci
    April 27, 2015

    My dear Anita… bravo for “disclosing too much!” If we don’t bare our souls every now and then, what good is it even to HAVE a soul? I am reminded of one of my first powerful “aha!” moments. A man in my industry at the time was wildly successful and a guru of sorts. Everyone looked up to him, and I was actually kind of intimidated around him. Then I went to one of his speeches and he opened with, “Every single day, I trip over my own two feet,” and he went on to say he wouldn’t be successful without having surrounded himself with people who were smarter, more experienced, more creative than he. Here’s this gazillionaire god of the Aveda world and he’s humble to the point of teaching me one of the greatest life lessons I’ve ever had. Admit your shortcomings, laugh about them, learn from them, share them. They make you who you are, and from where I stand, you are pretty darn cool, Dr. Henderson! See you in the hot room!

    Reply
    • dranita
      May 27, 2015

      denise, thank you for this, beautiful. see you in that hot room. i love your sunshiney strength. xo a.

      Reply
  3. Drukowski
    May 7, 2015

    Yo Sugah – here ya go . . . just cuz it needed to be done . . .

    D.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPqT031SWT4

    Lonely feeling
    Deep inside
    Find a corner
    Where I can hide
    Silent footsteps
    Crowding me
    Sudden darkness
    But I can see

    No sugar tonight in my coffee
    No sugar tonight in my tea
    No sugar to stand beside me
    No sugar to run with me

    Dat’n-doo-dow dow-dat’n-doo-dow
    Dat’n-doo-dow dow-dow-dow
    Dat’n-doo-dow dow-dat’n-doo-dow
    Dat’n-doo-dow dow

    In the silence
    Of her mind
    Quiet movements
    Where I can find
    Grabbing for me
    With her eyes
    Now I’m falling
    From her skies

    No sugar tonight in my coffee
    No sugar tonight in my tea
    No sugar to stand beside me
    No sugar to run with me

    Dat’n-doo-dow dow-dat’n-doo-dow
    Dat’n-doo-dow dow-dow-dow
    Dat’n-doo-dow dow-dat’n-doo-dow
    Dat’n-doo-dow dow

    Jocko says “Yes” and I believe him
    When we talk about the things I say
    She hasn’t got the faith or the guts to leave him
    When they’re standing in each other’s way
    You’re tripping back now to places you’ve been to
    You wonder what you’re gonna find
    You know you’ve been wrong but it won’t be long
    Before you leave ’em all far behind

    ‘Cause it’s the new mother nature taking over
    It’s the new splendid lady come to call
    It’s the new mother nature taking over
    She’s gettin’ us all
    She’s gettin’ us all

    Jocko said “No” when I came back last time
    It’s looking like I lost a friend
    No use callin’ ’cause the sky is fallin’
    And I’m getting pretty near the end
    A smoke-filled room in a corner basement
    The situation must be right
    A bag of goodies and a bottle of wine
    We’re gonna get it on right tonight

    ‘Cause it’s the new mother nature taking over
    It’s the new splendid lady come to call
    It’s the new mother nature taking over
    She’s gettin’ us all
    She’s gettin’ us all

    (Lonely feeling) Jocko says “Yes” and I believe him
    (Deep inside) When we talk about the things I say
    (Find a corner) She hasn’t got the faith or the guts to leave him
    (Where I can hide) When they’re standing in each other’s way
    (Silent footsteps) You’re tripping back now to places you’ve been to
    (Crowding me) You wonder what you’re gonna find
    (Sudden darkness) You know you’ve been wrong and it won’t be long
    (But I can see) Before you leave ’em all far behind

    ‘Cause it’s the new mother nature taking over
    It’s the new splendid lady come to call
    It’s the new mother nature taking over
    She’s gettin’ us all
    She’s gettin’ us all

    Dat’n-doo-dow dow-dat’n-doo-dow
    Dat’n-doo-dow dow-dow-dow
    Dat’n-doo-dow dow-dat’n-doo-dow
    Dat’n-doo-dow dow

    Dat’n-doo-dow dow-dat’n-doo-dow

    Reply
    • dranita
      May 27, 2015

      this is badass. thank you, drew.

      Reply

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