pulling back

Posted by on Jun 14, 2015 in Blog | No Comments

in bikram:

thinking about “pulling back,” the act of rising above my location, and placing my view on the things that matter to other people and the places and events that do not include me—-to give me a new perspective of my own world, a reprieve from personal worries. pulling back is the blessing of realizing that others are running around, thinking that they are super important, in this universal milieu. i’m in that milieu. guess i’m not the most important.

in this exercise, my mind’s eye rises above bend—stretching out to redmond, past redmond, to idaho, to kansas, and beyond the globe (what the hell happens in kansas?? i don’t know! but i do know that all the anita’s and tom’s and flattened chipmunks on the road, in kansas, think it’s something!—everything?)

people in kansas, as in anywhere in the world, often think what’s happening to them is the complete universe. this may seem like an overstatement. it’s not (unless you are always the perfect mindfulness guru, 24/7). think of your typical self in any moment in the day,—doesn’t your shit seem so “make or break,” so “right or wrong,” so “going well or not going well,” so PREDICTIVE of how your day or you life will go?? all the mental designs—all the food you may or may not eat, all the actions and non-actions you do to protect or induce a particular feeling, all of the concern….

guess what? you can lose it.

we all get there—that small. of mind. people in kansas and the ukraine are just as worried about making a good impression on their lover, on the people in their exercise class, or on the nebulous “they,” as i am. they check themselves in the store window, like you do, to see if they are (that) fat. we are all, each of us, fighting for our lives. we want our minds to be better, clearer. our (physical) figures to be tight, our lives to more rich, more marveled at, more pleasant.

while listening to byron katie (www.thework.com) this morning, i heard her say that when we label things as good or bad, they become that. but without the labels, good or bad, they just are—and that is how it should be.

i just am. small. here on the planet. and what may happen to me—a bulging tummy from over-eating, a job promotion or demotion, cancer, a break up, making that stoplight . . . it’ll be.

and can i call it good? i mean, can i not call it good . . . or bad? can i just accept it? accept everything? . . .  also while making changes in my life in the direction of my purest desires and sense of purpose?

i hope so.

i think there is a balance to be had, between acceptance and intentional changes.

i do know that my vision of desired changes blur, if i keep a harried pace. they surface best, when i am doing “nothing.”

i’ll see you out there. doing. nothing. or something. all of it.

jumping in the river helps. everything.

Leave a Reply